How Not To Blog ?

I try not to smoke, myself, but this is what religion can do to people. Some people can't handle their own delusions, and this pastorale SOB is one of them.

Your God can reclaim Uranus and sop it up til hell freezes over. No need to worry, though. Such demons are only in your mind.

Without people like me and he, bitches like these wouldn't have anyone to promote and sponsor their short-comings. Bad ideas can only survive through the actions of well-meaning people. The best punishment for ignorant people is just to let them be - give them mind and they will subtract from you. We're all massively ignorant about something. Some of us are just more annoying about our ignorance and stupidity than others.

Anytime I hear "he" in reference to "god", I know I'm talking to The Chosen Brainwashed. When they start talking about gays or 'unwed sex' then it's time for me to jump backwards three times and douse myself in mineral water to cleanse myself of intellemotional filth.

Without reference to Him, this world would be a much better place. There'd be a few billion more of us, but I think we can handle it.

Obviously, the "pastor" Fred Phelps is sexually attracted to Jesus and wants to suck from the lamb's teet. Why does he have a problem with that? I personally don't have a problem with "gay", as long as it's not me whose teet you're trying to suck.

To prove his manliness, he's had 13 children. And he told all of them that Mr. Rogers is in hell right now.

I will personally donate $5,000 to the Westboro Baptist Church, $1,000 towards counseling for all 13 of the Phelps' kids, and apologize in this space for being possessed by Satan herself if Mr. Phelps publicly kisses an image of the God he supposedly loves so much.

How far does his love go?

One solution to the 'Happy Birthday' copyright.

Sing it in Spanish.

?Feliz cumplea?os a t?!
?Feliz cumplea?os a t?!
?Feliz cumplea?os a ......!
?Feliz cumplea?os a t?!

and if the federalis bust down your door and hassle you for a bribe and your virgin wife is out blowing someone else, try this version on them...

? Cumplea?os feliz!
? Cumplea?os feliz!
? Cumplea?os feliz!
? Cumplea?os feliz!

That's right.. sing the song backwards!

Or, just give ASSCAP your middle finger like we all do with every other song.

Here's the history behind the song.

Less than 3 days of sitting on the toilet thinking what am I going to do with my life, registering a domain just for the hell of it, then launching How Not To Blog to unleash hell like Maximus, one of the blogs down below gets a mention on Corante.

...If you like a bit of bile with your breakfast, it's worth checking out the site: How Not to Blog launched on March 1 and in less than 72 hours, has already given Bronx cheers to Google, Jason Kottke, BoingBoing and the Apple iPod Shuffle.

Makes me sound like a bat out of hell. If my calculations are correct, I will be burnt out after 18.5 days. Like a horse going too fast out of the gates, or grandma getting up too fast out of bed to make your bile breakfast.

I didn't know anyone was reading this shi7, especially not within so little time. I guess there's just no privacy nowadays. The problem with most blogs is that they're usually dishonest about their surroundings. And that's strange because normally in faceless social interactions people are much more honest because of the enhanced sense of anonymity. But I guess when you have your name plastered everywhere on your blog you gotta kiss some ass to build up your cred points. Or perhaps I'm confusing angst with honesty, and not realizing the true value of social capital. Geeks have to make up for their lack of social grace somehow, so it might as well be kissing ass online.

Unfortunately, I have no Bronx cheers for Dominic Basulto or Corante New York. I don't even know the kok-sucker.

Look forward to more oddly self-congratulatory posts like this one. At least for the next fortnight.

Our dear Canadian neighbors at Ludicorp have struck web gold with their new photo-networking service, Flickr.

Too bad they dropped the ball on their massive multiplayer Game Neverending. It had a certain charm I hadn't found since the early (really early) days of the net. A real people place.

They also dropped mention of the project from their corporate website, so I'm assuming they're not going to pick it up again now that they're flush with cash. GNE does have a page on Flickr, however. (Who the hell thought of the name, Flickr? Obviously not the same person who thought of Ludicorp.. I have to think about it twice every time I type it. From now on I'll just say "FKR" for short. The name sucks. [Yes it does, bitch!])

I propose all of the hundreds of Game Neverending fans scattered around the globe storm the gates of Ludicorp to proclaim the infinite game undead. We'll buy it out from Ludicorp for the token sum of $1 and then we'll find a way to turn a profit. Maybe McDonalds will want to stay competitive and open up shop in the game and we'll all save up money to buy objects by flipping in-game burgers and such. It's all about synergy.

I hope Stewart (nice guy, by the way.. no time for love, though) and his are thrown lots of clean money to roll around naked in.

In Long Island, the South Huntington Public Library started lending out iPod shuffles loaded with audio books from the Apple iTunes store.

Great marketing gimmick (are libraries still in business these days?), bad vehicle to actually make it useful.

Who the ^#@# can make good use of a random, faceless flash device that looks more like a vibrator than something you can shake other parts of your body to? It's cool factor is limited to it being a product from a cool company. That does not make you look cool.. that makes you look stupid.

Random is the New Order

They actually think a severe limitation of such a cheap device can pass as a cool new feature. That's not good business sense. Taking choice and selection away from the user makes the device ultimately useless. The idea is that the user will only load songs that they like - but how long can you frustrate a user before they purchase a better player with a display for $99?

Can you imagine Microsoft coming out with a media device for your living room that plays movies at random? Granted, a song is over much more quickly but consumers want instant gratification. The only gratification people who buy this will have is the joy of their existence being validated when they see other people with the same white box. You can be cool, too, for only $99.

For that, it's ingenious. It's a great way to sell lots of cheap stuff from SE Asia and another way to introduce poor people to the Apple brand. They'll sell millions because most people have no sense of self (or much savings). The ones who really want a good device that they can actually use will buy the regular iPod.

But, hey, for $99 I'll buy it for my little brother.

The current issue of the Economist continues to make mention of US Dollar's future prospects, which at this point look pretty bleak. Korea is now starting to diversify its holdings. If China does, we're screwed. (Guess who's holding the trump card in international policy?)

The dollar fell against leading currencies. Markets were spooked by the decision of the Bank of Korea to diversify its currency holdings, increasing speculation that Asian central banks were moving away from the dollar as a reserve currency (this would cause a problem for America in financing its current-account deficit). The greenback recovered somewhat after the Bank of Korea said its decision did not mean it would sell the American currency.

The major problem is that Asian countries, with China in the lead, are pumping too much money into the US economy, via treasury bond purchases. They do this because the US is so fucked up when it comes to managing spending. If Asian countries don't do this, their own economies would deeply suffer.

Letting the dollar fall against the Euro and other major currencies is not a good way to reduce the current-account deficit (now stands at $603 billion). Prudent spending and planning is the only way to save the US from going to hell.

Unfortunately, with a mighty a77hole at the helm, the only prosperity we will see in the future is on the battlefront.

No solution here but personal ones - it's a bad bet that anyone at top would come to their senses soon enough. Hedge.

Just follow my 6 Point Plan to Not Getting Screwed in the Ass (unless that's your thing)

1) Open a foreign-currency account. Euros is probably a good idea, though you could also invest in China by opening a stock trading account in Hong Kong. My money is on India, though, as soon as they build some roads and install electricity. Chinese people want to dominate. Indians want to integrate. The age of domination is over. The US fucked it up last and we have turned off the lights.

2) If the dollar fell 8% against the Euro the quarter previous, be sure to somehow recoup at least 8% of your income the next quarter. This could mean selling the shit in your garage, or selling someone else's shit. Or start an online business in a hot sector for $1,000 then sell it a year later to a lazy businessperson. Whatever. You don't want your money sitting in the bank. If your interest rates are lower than inflation you're losing money.

3) Fall in love with a well-off man and/or woman and lead them on for several months, getting them to buy you expensive things. If you do this several times per year, you won't have to work at all. You can just be a lazy, no good bitch with a nice TV and fat bank account.

4) Invest in fine wine. The good stuff always goes up. A good monkey in the middle will handle everything for you. A small investment in fine wine every quarter will help you recover your economic losses.

5) Tithe 100% of your earnings to your local Church. If you believe in the Lord, you'll get at least double your money back in 60 days in some way or 'nother. This is the best damn investment out there. Too bad they don't send you statements fiscal year end.

6) Stop reading pointless blogs like these and use the time to plan your escape from prison so you can actually make more than 11 cents per day, you spoonless lizard!