How Not To Blog ?

Alas. Someone is taking the bird flu threat seriously enough to start a blog about it.

Too bad we suffer from other, unnamed, psychological ailments that prevent us as a society from thinking critically about H5N1 (and everything else that smells bad, for that matter).

As many blogs as there are that don't credit the other blogs they steal stories from (including this one), why would you want to treat a big media company like CNet any different?

Why? well like many bloggers I?m sick and tired of scoops and other stories being stolen from blogs by big media. It not only happens occasionally, it happens all the time. As a meta-blogger I monitor most of the big media sites on blogging related stories, and there has been one regular site that has the ability to run stories, without credit, from a number of blogs including the Blog Herald.

Who cares? A story is a story. You didn't invent the story. Why make a big deal over what amounts to nothing?

I steal, you steal, we all steal. Sometimes we credit when we feel like it, sometimes we don't.

...the blogosphere will not be messed with...

Big media don't credit one-another, either, in case you haven't noticed.

Stupid elitist bloggers with their cocks in each-other's asses.

I can think of a few of the popular blogs that 'stole' a story (as if I owned it) from HNTB and didn't credit me, probably because they don't want anyone else to know they read HNTB. As long as they don't cut and paste the text, what do I care?

Stealing images is just as easy. If it's not specifically copyrighted, it's free pickins. If you don't want your images all over the internet, don't post them.

Hypocritical nitwits.

Alan Meckler, Jupiter Media CEO, says, "About 99.99% of all blogs are essentially worthless."

In their estimate would that include their blog, or Alan's blog? I think so. Here's Alan's April 19th entry:

Sleepless in Tokyo

It is near midnight in Tokyo on Tuesday (the posting time of this entry will be incorrect as it is timed with Jupitermedia's servers in Darien, Connecticut USA whereas I am in Tokyo).

I arrived here a few hours ago and had a dinner meeting. Now I am catching up on email and attempting to stay up until 1:00AM so that I can "get onto an Asian sleep pattern." Anyway, I was checking out a bit of history a few minutes ago about the origin of our JupiterWeb properties and came across a 1994 interview in which I believe I created the concept (that is now the rage) of horizontal and vertical Web sites.

Well, isn't that nice...

The purpose of Jupiter Media blogs is to create sales leads, something that adds value for them and them only. By their own definition, they are not a blog. A blog "...is a [w]eb page that serves as a publicly accessible personal journal for an individual".

How could someone that doesn't even know what a weblog is make a claim that, essentially, all weblogs are worthless?

Worth is relative, something that he himself should know.

Here's a reality game blog Ultimate Blogger. Then there's The Big Blog Show "reality" game blog, which is dead in the water.

Here's how the Ultimate Blogger will work.

Behold, the Adsense Notifier Firefox extension lets you know about the 10 cents you earned yesterday. You can configure it to display impressions, CTR, number of clicks, CPM, earnings, etc.

[See previous article, "Google Adsense Sucks, and You Know It!"]

This is long overdue.

NBC Universal Television Group President Jeff Zucker said entering the generally opinionated world of blogs might be one way television networks could keep their grip on viewers who increasingly use the Internet for news.

"Over the next two years, network news is going to go through a lot more changes," Zucker said at a Yahoo conference on high-speed Internet use. "This is one of the biggest issues facing traditional network news divisions."

Rojo is a web-based social newsreader. It allows you to tag and comment on feeds for other people to read. You can also see the feeds your friends subscribe to (if your friends are using Rojo).

Add a feed and then you can flag, email, comment, and add tags to items in that feed. You can also see stories recommended

I could imagine that such social newsreaders popping up could greatly augment blogging for a lot of blogs. Just add the HNTB feed to your social newsreader and then you can share links and recommendations, etc., with the HNTB community (if/when such a feature is enabled). With today's blogs, there's a lot less community action extant than could be.

All they need to do now is develop some more servers to help with system lag and they're ready for business. (Supposedly, they're ready for a wider release in a few days.)

I'm currently using RSS Bandit, which I think is a decent newsreader. Upon seeing Rojo I immediately want to switch. All they need now is reliability and all I need now is some friends to share with.

[Also see previous article, The future of the blog and blogging]

What would this make me, a journalist?

HAHAHA.

However, more than one-third of respondents had never heard of blogs before participating in the survey, and only around 30 percent of participants had actually visited a blog themselves.

While Americans were concerned about free speech, the survey revealed more moderate attitudes when it compared bloggers to journalists.

Fifty-two percent of those surveyed said bloggers should have the same rights as traditional journalists, while 27 percent did not express an opinion. Free speech rights are protected under the first amendment of the US Bill of Rights, which says the US Congress shall make no law abridging the freedom of speech or of the press. Such rights are not enshrined in the Australian Constitution.

Here's a post from SEO Book on how to spam blogs.

People are so funny when they get angry at this blog (like the good folks at Threatwatch*) for being this blog.

The purpose of HowNotToBlog is to not think like other blogs, not blog like other blogs, and not make merry like other blogs. If you want just another blog there are plenty to choose from (8,436,170 by Technorati's count). If you're looking for someone to more or less agree with your position (or at least be modest if they don't) and rock the boat only rarely and slightly, then this is not the place to validate your existence. Anything else would, to me, be a waste of time.

I want to bust your system wide open, you passive biased keyboard-hugger. If you don't want to use your brain give it to someone who will. You should want to re-create your world, too, and introduce some chaos into the mix. Without chaos, there is no evolution. We'd all look the same and be cursed with millions of diseases, each. Unfortunately, your egos, cliques and protected communities get in the way of timely change - you all blog the same. Most bloggers are too busy kissing one-anothers' asses and being polite. I call it blog incest. You have too much invested in current methods to rapidly realize new ones. So, when you see something new and/or different you automatically group with the community mindset - if the communities in which you are involved are ignoring it then you are very likely to ignore it, too. It works for you, but where is the original thought?

I'd rather shit 100 times and have 2 rubies come out of my ass than just be constipated with no insight other than what other people are thinking. It's no wonder that this article was popular - because so many people agreed with it. It's gotten so bad that most people just assume that if you blog you are a white male around a certain age, living in the US or UK, who blogs the same as do they, would link to the same locations, and pretty much thinks along the same lines. The funny thing is, no one sees anything wrong with this. It's like television in the 1950's. It breeds the kind of environment that produced what my original post was about.

Many great and wonderful things are born out of chaos, the unexpected, and the simply different. I will continue to fuck things up where you refuse to because you're too damn comfortable.

If every blog were like this one, the blogosphere would surely be in bad shape. But if there were no blogs like this one, the same holds true.

*it's a good community blog that I read several times a day. That would make me a member of the Threadwatch community, by their definition. I'm sure, though, that they think that all of their readers share the same views. But they would never be able to see it this way, which is why no universes will be birthed under their watch.

In continuance of the Jason Kottke saga*, today we find Elliot Back's analysis of just how lazy the dude has become.

The "now-a-full-time blogger" is actually posting less than he was when he was only a part-time blogger.

As I've been saying all along, folks, it's all a sham. Milk users' pocketbooks for his pathetic cause then introduce "friendly" advertising in a month or so after. Do people really expect him to "experiment" with blogging full time, surviving only on the kindness of user donations (which, by my calculations have added up to a little over $20,000 for this begging season - it'll be much less next season), and still being able to keep up with his Manhattan digs and life in one of the most expensive cities in the world?

*the blogger who quit his job to blog full time. See:

Kottke looks to BoingBoing for inspiration
The Kottke Saga part IX-573
Kottke's Begging Goes Corporate...slowly
Begging... I mean blogging

You can now check out the Yahoo! 360 beta. Here's how:

1) Login to your Yahoo account

2) Go to the following location

The link may not last for long.

So far 360 has the following user menu: Home, My Page, My Blog, My Friends, Mailbox, Invite, Search, Settings

On the left panel, there are the following member-related options (social network menu): Top Page, Blog, Friends, Lists, Reviews, Groups

You can view a larger screenshot here.

The earliest post from the above-accessible blog is from Friday, Oct 22, 2004 - 11:37am (PDT) titled "Day two..." and talks about Project Mingle (360).

Kottke's blog, ad whore-to-be, points us to a post on GlassDog that discusses the fucked up state Boing Boing has gotten itself into with too much on-site advertising.

And if Boing Boing were a corporation ? oh, wait, it is; that?s what the little ?LLC? down in the corner means ? they?d be the first in line to point a finger at that big, sticky wad of hype and say, ?Um. Really?? These champions of the purity of the Web, these advocates of transparency would be poking holes in that balloon before the clown got it out of his mouth. It?s just that pointed fingers get awkward when you?re in front of a mirror.

So many sites that love to beg for money complain about their high hosting bill. True, you can get 1.2 terrabytes of bandwidth for only $100/month. Sounds like a bum with a sob story about how he needs money for busfare.

This is typical for ass-kissing blogs like Kottke's. He doesn't mention it until someone else does. Now, BoingBoing must respond because they've been outed by 'respected peers', even though everyone's been thinking it all along.

Dumbasses, all of them.

View blogs.. literally.

Wait for the images to load. See something interesting? Hover your mouse cursor over the image and read the original text from the blog that it came from.

This would be perfect for an Amaztype-type service. Show me the cover of the book, then give me a summary.

Are you ready? For this?

They will come in droves.

That's actually a good thing. Without AOL, we'd be accessing all 3,500 internet sites in an advertiser-free world on 56k modems.

Gee, Mr. HNTB, how can I be a better blogger?

Well, Sonny, you have to start by having a niche. (Unless you're a celebrity blogger where people just come to sniff your ass because they have no life of their own.) Whether your niche is Disney, Porn, and Kitsch, or boobies, sex, and bigotry, you're bound to find an audience to share your fetish. When it doubt, talk about sex or politics - two topics guaranteed to get your fair share.

But don't worry, Sonny. If you don't have anything to talk about you can still blog. Just take a look at these fine examples here and here.

What if I'm just smart and political? I play chess at school, you know.

There's always room for smart and political, my boy. People will love it. Even if you're just pretending to be doing something important.

How can I become popular so that people will like me?

Well for one, you must kiss the asses of other bloggers frequently. Then, they'll take notice and link back to you, driving other visitors to your site. Those visitors that will stay will stay because they agree with your opinions and outlook, more or less. A natural following will develop over time.

But if you've become popular, remember to spruce up your format every once in a while and keep your blog up with the times. Otherwise you're going to gradually seep into the abyss of insignificance.

Gee, thanks asshole!

You're welcome, Sonny Boy! Happy blogging.. And don't forget to slip in a few ads for your friends along the way to blogging paradise! Try the new xTreme Slurpee while you're at it.

Wired news used to be a good, clean place to get your tech news from. But ever since the porn star news reporter, "Gina Lynn", came onboard... things have been a little different. (Ok.. she's not the Gina Lynn, but I'm pretty sure they're both using fake pornstar names.)

Now, instead of the regular news and on-time-every-time monthly rave about some new military gizmo we have to deal with a sex-deprived techie whose every article seems to be about cybersex.

First there was Fleshbot, the porn blog so often linked to by the Disney-and-Porn obsessed BoingBoing.net (did they ever figure out how to work their site?) Its popularity spawned dozens of copycat blogs trying to make their publisher's fetishes popular so they won't feel so bad about the size of their penises.

Wired.com, give me technology news. If I want to read something that will turn my private into a soldier I'll peruse Craigslist's WSW section.

Other blogs, you don't need to put in a picture of a new type of vibrator or a closeup of my vagina every week just to garner additional interest.

Less than 3 days of sitting on the toilet thinking what am I going to do with my life, registering a domain just for the hell of it, then launching How Not To Blog to unleash hell like Maximus, one of the blogs down below gets a mention on Corante.

...If you like a bit of bile with your breakfast, it's worth checking out the site: How Not to Blog launched on March 1 and in less than 72 hours, has already given Bronx cheers to Google, Jason Kottke, BoingBoing and the Apple iPod Shuffle.

Makes me sound like a bat out of hell. If my calculations are correct, I will be burnt out after 18.5 days. Like a horse going too fast out of the gates, or grandma getting up too fast out of bed to make your bile breakfast.

I didn't know anyone was reading this shi7, especially not within so little time. I guess there's just no privacy nowadays. The problem with most blogs is that they're usually dishonest about their surroundings. And that's strange because normally in faceless social interactions people are much more honest because of the enhanced sense of anonymity. But I guess when you have your name plastered everywhere on your blog you gotta kiss some ass to build up your cred points. Or perhaps I'm confusing angst with honesty, and not realizing the true value of social capital. Geeks have to make up for their lack of social grace somehow, so it might as well be kissing ass online.

Unfortunately, I have no Bronx cheers for Dominic Basulto or Corante New York. I don't even know the kok-sucker.

Look forward to more oddly self-congratulatory posts like this one. At least for the next fortnight.

Jason Kottke, blogger extraordinairre, has resorted to begging. Jason recently quit his job as a circus clown in order to blog full time. He has a page where he takes Paypal payments and credit cards, and checks.

I almost donated $300 to his cause. NOT!

Get a f557ing job, moron! Do you think people will continue to support your pathetic cause? Why is it pathetic? Not because you're not a good blogger (you are) but because you haven't sold out yet. I know, I know.. you see the on-rush of other people making a nice living with their blogs (mostly through advertising and other sponsorships) and figure you can do the same thing. But you want to do it with a clean conscience, not accepting any advertising whatsoever. Only subsisting on the kindness of others through their financial contributions.

If it works, hundreds of other popular bloggers (read: not me) will try the same thing and the market for begging bloggers will be saturated, driving your profit margins below the grave and into a Chinese sweat shop.

Fucking advertise and get it over with. You already advertise yourself like a cheap hooker with lime-green spandex. And you advertise your ideas everyday, as well as products, services, people, and other websites you like. I can't count all the ads on your begging page in good time. However, I did catch your referral code in your Movaeble Type link pointing to www.movabletype.org/track/?kottke .. nice. It looks like you're a whore after all). You link everywhere buy up my grandpa's fat ass. But you will not do it for money. (At least, not yet.)

Pathetic sites like this one can't do it because nobody would want to advertise here. (I could always install Google Adsense. Heck, they'd take anyone.) Sell out already!

I will support your sponsor, but I will not sponsor you.

Hello world. This is the first post in the new blog. Well, what is a first post in a blog, anyway?

Let?s go over to BoingBoing and see what their first post was. Some shit sbout Streettech from Jan, 2000. Their next post wasn?t until 1 month later. Lazy f*cks. At least they got their act together to become the #1 blog. For now, at least.

What else do I need besides a lame first post? Right, categories.

I took the liberty of stealing a few categories from this guy ?cuz I couldn?t think of my own quickly enough. (I googled ?blog categories?. How much of a neuro synapse substitute is Google? It?s made us 10x smarter and a bit dumber at the same time.)

I guess the above rambo qualifies as the official start of the ?How Not To Blog? blog. This isn?t an instructional blog or one about weblog standards. It?s the offspring from a Metablog/meets/F*ck you-f*ck me f*ckfest (although not yet, technically, until I have crystallised the meaning of the blog)